hey all you peepal(sud style!!)...well...my didi told me the other day to write something new...when i told her that its kinda hard for me to write on a regular basis coz i dont have a comp at home,she told me to write my stuff somewhere and then key it in...well,to tell the truth i find the process very cumbersome(and it hurts my creative ego...sobs :-))...but its all i can do till i find a more permanent solution(get myself a comp that is)....nyway...after that huge intro lemme get down to the real thing...well,i am gonna share with you one of my compositions that i had the mifortune to write...and trust me..this should be your crash course in what not to resort to when you "eat the push"(mane dhakka kahoa ar ki)...so here goes...

I tried so hard,but was left all scarred

my love was wasted;was this all a dream?

i stay awake,yet i'm asleep

with all these dreams haunting me...

reminding me of your presence

that was...and never will be...

life is such a cavernous path

leading us into treacherous pits which

seem so inescapable...yet so gratifying...

my vile rantings will go in vain...i do this in pain,

pain that hurts,the hurt amazing me cause

i've been numbed...numbed by her mirage like presence in my life...i

reach out only to see she's (there)no more,yet

i keep keep on reaching out...in hope that

even if only for a while...she'll make make me feel real...words i write is the pent up blood

that finds release when i think of her...cause she courses through my veins,this very moment...

i lie bleeding,not blood but,pain...

need a few days...though days now seem to stretch on for eternity...

i've loved beyond reason...if that's a sin

i've sinned beyond redemption...if this guilt warrants death...

i'm dead...a mere spectre of what i was...and never shall be...

ahem...i've edited out a few places without even thinking twice...and i've not even wrote what i wrote in the end...but belive me...if i would have actually given you the whole thing you would have had a hard time cleaning up the mess that you yourself would have made on your computer screen(hope you get what i mean)...its not that i hated myself and the one i mentioned...but suddenly ektu kobitto chole eschilo mone and i couldnt help writing this stuff(or crap,watever)...later i realised the futility of being so hopeless...and the immense pleasure in being happy...well,being happy even if you really arent busts your ass sometimes...but you'll notice that in the end it takes very little of your effort to shrug off that queasy feeling...sounding like a help guru???time to stop motormouthing for now...

and for future reference,if you've had too square a meal and want to get off(mane puke,that is!!!) real fast,just take peek at the above compositon...instant retcher for those who love being happy...and i for sure am one...aint i right mitun??!!!