is this for real?

and someone screams inside my head-hey there prick of course this is for real.what did you think?that it dosent happen to people like you?that you would only muse about it and never actually get the chance?that you would always stand in the crowd and scream your approval when what you really want to do is be up there exhorting people around you to scream their approval for your stuff?that your one wish of singing your heart out infront of all for yourself would remain a pleasant dream?

well goodluck...cause you had your chance of turning back.and you didnt.now you better get your ass moving cause tommorrow is a new day.and tommorrow you begin.goodluck.

i tell myself.

(tommorrow i begin to practice with my band.we plan to go onstage for a fest coming up in a few days.)

life has been good lately...

waking up late to ma's cessant(!) and futile calls

doin nothin

goin through the news papers to my hearts content

doin nothing

letting the stereo blare at full throttle...turning the volume a notch down a moment later gultily

doin nothing

taking my bath singing(read:screaming) at the top of my lungs...bringing the showcasing of my lung power a notch down guiltily

doin nothing

having my lunch

doin nothin

goin out for a couple of hours...

to south city,starmark,sitting with a book and reading to hearts content(with an occassional glance at a pretty girl here and a hot chick there),im in my element...walking down the streets near oberoi,trying to ignore a li'l pain thats about to creep in,ignoring it and letting go of a sigh thats been building inside for a long time,telling myself that its not over,i've got a long way to go,putting a faint smile and goin on...having phuchkas to my hearts content,no guilt whatsoever,rolls and moghlais rounding up the gastronomic ventures...with mitun and co. to ccd,learning a bit of 29 afterwards...to mituns place,nirbhejal adda,and a bit of cards,pretending to be pros when we have only about begun to get the hang of how its to be a novice...to indrayuths place,catching up with a person who made me realise that i had made a mistake in not keepin in touch with him who was probably my oldest friend,watching a few guy movies,chatting,realising how different thes few months in college have made us yet how much the same person we still remain...to school on the 1st,catching up with all my old pals,indescribable...

meeting amrita a few times,looking at her,wanting her to ask me,wanting to tell her,looking away telling myself its best left unsaid...holding her hand to let her know all the same...im there...

comin back home...a few words with tonny,ma,baba and mona...

doin nothing

having my dinner

doin nothing/reading a book i've already read/reading a book i've just got hold of

falling asleep...thoughts crossing my mind,forming an incomprehensible,indistinguished mass...but a face burns bright...and as i fall asleep i pray,silently whispering ,"let she not fade away from where she belongs..."

waking up to ma's cessant(!) and futile calls...

life,has been great lately...